you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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