Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
