I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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