I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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