Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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