Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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