i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
