And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
How naked do you want me to be?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
