Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
