I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
