a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
