Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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