I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
