this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize