I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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