Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
