He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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