if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
