no, he came in my armpit
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
