I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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