My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
