I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
