I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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