Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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