I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
