So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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