I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize