Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
my god I love twenty year old dicks
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
