You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
