Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
