i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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