fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
