I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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