Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
