all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
