The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
