she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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