happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
