Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
