I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
