Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
