I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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