i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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