Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
