STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Every concussion has its silver lining
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
