Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
