her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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