question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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