so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
