I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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