There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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