She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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