this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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