areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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