I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
operation have a gay friend backfired
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
