Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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