So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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