I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
