What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
