I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
