Where is the hickey?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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