she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
