i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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