She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
