Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
