: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
