I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
