Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I have feelings that need drinking.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You left your phone here
Wait...
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