do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
