i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
