thus making me awesome and them whores
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
