When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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