you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
